sometimes i wish , i had small & simple dreams .
not big dreams that 'd make me worry so much bout now & the future .
i envy young ladies who aren't as ambitious .
who have simple concept of how a happy life could meant .
i've seen & heard from my friends , they think ,
graduating with a diploma , get an office job ,
getting married , have kids , start a family .
simple & definitely able to realised their dreams .

i never wanted just an ordinary job & graduating with a diploma cert .
working in the field i studied ? NO !
i want to work in fields of my interest .
realised the big dream i had since i was independent .
carrying with me the passion tt burns .
the enjoyment of it , tts wad makes me happy .
i've tried so hard , for 5 years , worked so hard .
was i ever near ? maybe i'd missed out chances , i'd nv know .
but still all the hard works tt's seen no results .
its starting to lead me feeling despair , helpless .
why'd i even choose to be so independent by myself ?
shouldering the responsibilities of my own life .
stubborn ; thats me .
refusing to give up being ambitious ,
refusing to give up my dreams ,
refusing to be just the ordinary lady .

family & kids ? nah .
i don't need commitments & obligations to tie me down deadly .
well , supposedly not in the near 10 years to come .
having a family i've to commit to wholeheartedly .
playing the role of a goody wife and greaty mummy ?
i can nv imagine having to spend time in the middle of the night
entertaining a ' wah wah ' baby . zomg .
i'd rather be partying like nobody's business till dawn .
may be i'd develop a diff thinking when i have one .
but right now its definitely outta my list !
its an even heavier responsibility & price to pay .
so MUMMYS i respect all the good mummys .
thats one thing i can't possibly settle down as .
& not one of my so called happiness .
thou friends told me having a home with a family is the most impt in life ,
aft i told them nothing is as impt as money is in life .

no matter how much conflicts monetary issues is gna lead to .
i don't give a damn , thats my bloody view & my stand .
at least there's others that share my views .
before 30 & i wna be up the ladder of success .
i want it & i'd make it big .
nothing against my morals nor principals .
i don't believe i can't do it all by myself .
yea right , i'm hell materialistic .
so wad ? i'm only being practical .

money makes the world goes round .

CINDY.*