♥只不过是你生命里,另一个过客 .

面对抉择 让我不知所措 .
面对现实 放弃本来就不属于我的一切.
面对悲痛 算是我活该 .

你像是风 从不定位
忽来忽去 自由自在
怎能把你 紧握手中
只能怀念 风的温和

你像是海 广大辽阔
像是浪潮 来来去去
突如其来 把心倦走
又悄悄的 离开大海

第一次决定放弃
以为结束了
兜了几圈又回来了.
认为会不一样
是自己太傻
第二次决定放弃
希望是正确的
悔恨从此消失

还会有下次吗 ?
希望有缘无分的人
也会拥有美好的句点.




♥
♥



it made my heart ache . .

friday , 28 nov 08 .



finally i watched the movie ''CAPE NO.7"
whats so special ?
its simple , just so daily life kinda .
its all abt dreams & pure love .
certain parts of it just made my heart ache so much ,
i could feel my tears welling up in my eyes .
gosh . so affected was i .
well ,, just wasn't in the right mood lately .
too emotional .
):



well , time flew .
it was 21 mths for cindy&wesley .
not a very happy period it had been .
i owe an apology .
too much had happened .
too much work, too little time .
i just needed so much more time for myself
to balance my life agn .
like le said , certain issues have really just created havoc and
imbalance my once neat life, mind & soul .
all this disturbance should mark its end alr .
i think i've very much decided to leave certain issues outta my life .
just like how they dun exist some period ago .
it shd nv had been back thou .
first warm &enthusiastic,
now cold & left dangling .
how irresponsible & cruel can one get ?
for impossible tasks, off it goes on my list pls .



*LOVES

i'm missing it all ,, i really do .

IF . . .

life could be controlled by a remote ,,
which part of it would you like to pause at ?
which part of it would you like to rewind to ?
or would you wna fast forward it instead ?

do you dread the present state ?
do you long for the past ?
do you anticipate the future ?

what can i say ?
what can i do ?

it has always been silence towards everything .
on nights like this .
emotional gush . yeas .
its a different kind of feeling .

i'm just too drained .
too tired for everything now .
could you understand ?
i need so much more time .
i need a clear mind .
i need some time alone .
its just not gng on well no more .
whats the problem . i dno .

soo soo tired .
PLEASE .
gimme a break .


who's the lead in ur story ?
stop the silence .
its making me go crazy .

tell me,, wad to do.

I NEED A BREAK !!!

GIMME TIME TO REST & CLEAR MY MIND PLEASE !
I'M ALL SO FILLED UP TO THE MAX .
MY MIND'S NOT FUNCTIONING WELL ANYMORE .
MY BODY'S PROTESTING ,,
&
MY HEART IS FEELING WEAK .
I'M SUFFOCATING .
SOONER OR LATER I'M GNA COLLAPSE .


PHYSICALLY DRAINED
MENTALLY DRAINED
EMOTIONALLY DRAINED

.-.

FULL THROTTLE MOCCARNIVAL !

WEETS ~

FULL THROTTLE MOCCARNIVAL 2008 .
it was so fun & fun & more fun !
haas .
i love my bosses seriously . they are all super nicee !
i'm sun burnt ! thanks to the scorching hot sun before the downpour in the evening !
i'm so tired now .
posed and smiled whole day . haas .
haven't received the pics from the photographers .
would post it all once i received !
just bear with my unprofessional skills of photo taking !!!
LOLS .


[rainbow aft rain , not clear thou .]


CHEERS !
(:

clueless -.

BOO !
sigh . haven't been a really good month recently .
time passes so fast that i don't have a good opportunity
to even realised and recall certain events that happened .

school has nv been more dry !
loads of work & projects .
i just really gotta catch up with my work .
exams in two weeks time .
filled with sian - ness alr .
just let me bluff my way thru PLEASEEE !!!
i'd definitely make school & work balance the next term .

anw ,, full throttle moccarnival @ kallang leisure park tmr .
gna be working for almost the whole day .
come and have FUN !!!

SIGHS .
hate to be lagging behind & having to rush things .
lately , everything just have been too stressful for me .
i can't make up my mind anymore .
don't know what i really want anymore .

why does my life seems to be in a mess at times .
enough to create an impact on me .
just like past events , it happened again .
regrets ? supposedly not .
when you're doing some things based on decisions from ur heart .
you're just being true , to others & urself .
even if its a mistake , its probably a beautiful one .
be it being an accident or just naturally happened .
a moment of folly or clear minded .
for me , i know i'm just being true .
believe me that it doesn't happen just with anyone .
i give it my all even thou i'm nt supposed to ,,
even thou its never meant to be so .
don't you still get it ?
when it happened in the past & now again more seriously .
time can't just brush everything away .
just like a stubborn stain , even with bleach it just fades you still dun get rid of it .
life's like that huh .
i'd nv learn my lesson & i hate myself for tt .
& i shd just stop assuming things in my way .
i just created more troubles for myself .
none had breath a word bout anything .
why so ?
shdn't you be clear enough to tell me whats gng on ?
mark an end or drag on .
latter would be a terrible choice .
if both cause hurt wad mre choice is there ?
hate history to repeat itself .
just need words that comes from bottom of the heart .
drop the pretence of ignorance pls .
the feel of being slashed hard . i hate to play guessing game .
not every soul gets the priveleged of being treated extremely nice& special .
could you pls clear the doubts for me .
in whichever ways that i'll be able to understand .
just what i'd like to know all these time .
&tts just what i'd like to say .
.-.

asongforu ,, ::

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LOVES*


FRIENDSareLOVED . indeed . myGIRLS (:

BARCLAYS !!!

was another BUSY week !!!
weekend was burned again with work .
but i enjoy my work !!!

SAT & SUN ,,
BARCLAY'S OPEN SINGAPORE
was working at sentosa for this international golf competition with APB .
its always fun working at such events .
esp the patrons are mostly foreigners you can really have fun with them .
was so busy busy busy !
wanted to camwhore the event but too baddd .

FRI,, had two castings one aft another .
was so drained after the last . sigh .
met jiale & jojo at expo where xinru is working at the food fair .
BLEH . dunno whats wrong . cant seem to eat much nowadays .
maybe after i've left my tummy empty for one whole day it seems to have contracted !
LOLS !
well the food fair was just average .
some food were awful yet expensive !!!
wasted .
went back to xr's hse as she consult me regarding her prom wear .
& yea ! its today . hope it'll be fun for her !!! (:

hmm ,, dun hv much to blog abt anw .
no mood to continue babbling .

recently have been much of a troubled period for me .
ever since some time ago .
there hv been so many things that i've regretted doing ,
be it 2yrs back, 2 weeks back, 2days back .
i'm always making life difficult & miserable for myself .
perhaps nobody knows and would nv have to know .
wad can i say .
NOTHING !
can't stop anyone from doing what they want even if i dun like the way things are .
if this is wad you are facing, rmb to always think thru carefully before you act .
perhaps many things have only been ur wishful thinking .
have you ever ask wad the truth is like ?
nope ! so how cn u assume things r like how u think it is ?
i shd have been more rational .
rashness is bound to cause a lifetime's misery .
how to grab hold of my last chip on hand ?
i know ,,
if i lose it this time .
i'll lose it FOREVER .


LOVES*

PEEPOS !
weets ~
i've loads to update bout the weekend ! haas .

FRIDAY, 07 NOV 08
went to PITSTOP CAFE with the preeties !
xinru, jiale, jialing & wynnee !
and it was real fun and all worthwhile !
had dinner and 2 hrs of gaming !
seriously, everyone in there are super high and enthu playing the games .
you can hear and feel the excitement at every corner !
played various games and camwhored some bit . LOLS !
we took pics for the shop too , the walls are all filled up with pics of all the patrons !

after pitstop off to JOJO's house w/o jialing&wynee .
her dogs are super cute but i was kinda freak out by their heartwarming welcome !
LOLS . i'm a first timer to her house so well .
i wna have such a cute pet to dote on too !
why doesn't mummy allow pets ?! ):
cabbed back at almost 3am !
loads of chitchats & it was so so fun to hang ard with the preeties ! (:

SAT/SUN, 08/09 NOV .

started my beauty pageant ambassador job !
scouting & promoting for the upcoming event to search for the next spokesperson for BAREONLINE, an online magazine!
if you're interested do tell me !
was working with cassandra and we seriously walked the whole of orchard for the 2 days .
zz . forgot to ask her to send me the pics ! but nvm .
sat night went K-ING !
befor my throat even heals i went singing agn . LOLS .
i'm lucky i'm okay now .
anw ,, enjoyed K-ING loaddsss !

&well ,,
met xinru at fareast plaza to shop a bit on sun aft work !
glad she found her ideal prom wear .
theme this year 'cool & funky' . sounds fun .
gna pick up the clothes supposedly on wed ! (:
aft which meet szetho at raffles place to my hse for my haircut !!!
WAHAAS . THANKYOU MR SZETHO !
like proffesional seh . so much tools . LOLS .
snipped all my stupid ugly dried up ends !
its shorter now but nvm .
i can see the waves . LOLS . like so natural k & i think my face looks slimmer !
BYEBYE fat face . cover you with all my hair .

[look smaller & slimmer rite ? LOLS . XD]

[CAMWHORING with JIALE ! LOLS .]

monday's over !
woohoo !
looking forward to weekends alr . haas .
event this weekend @ Sentosa golf club, holding the International Golf Competition . EXCITED ! shall blogged soon . (:

**when all events seem to have come to an end,
it may mark the beginning of another's .
you'll never know what may happen 2 days, mths, yrs later .
when perhaps you tot all previous wonderful memories had been erased,
its just that it had always been well kept in ur heart .
i cherish every moment with em all .
no matter how much time has past i've nv forgotten a single bit .
thou in time it may seem significant but it'd nv be so to me .
love 'em all .

LOVES*

updates ; unspokenWORDS .

UPDATES !

super tired today . slept at 6am cos i slacked out the whole night .

that shd be our longest slacking record .

LOLS .

anw ,, watched quantum of solace !

well , it was pretty good .

and DANIEL CRAIG looks good thou he's kinda old .

LOLS . had our dance sport lesson today !

super love thursday as its the most relaxing day for sch .

fast and good progress for our chacha steps .

haas .

its not for old folks okay .

i nv knew chacha could seem graceful until i tried it .

looking forward to all thursdays ! XD

well ,, uploads of pics took at work with YK another day .

prob with blogger's uploader .-''

haas . what a good fren i have . THANKS man !

decided to stop working for the assignment .

thou i'm paid seriously well enough .

i'm just sorta tired alr .

haven't had a proper rest since the hols started .

and poof! sch term is gone by a mth alr .

i don't even know what i've really been doing so far .

lols . orites . enough of my whinessss .

.-.

sometimes i wonder how do you define the word 'friend' ?

a company ? tool to pass time ? a loved one ? a special someone ?

friend is defined as :

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust; an acquaintance.

well , some are worth your time and love a lifetime while others would gradually become the hi-bye catogery . what can i say to those who give up on their good frens . best is the word i'll seldom use . no one is the best or ever at their best . humans are filled with much imperfections so how can one be the best of someone else's . i don't regret any actions or words which may caused harm thats being inflicted . if its that easy to chase a good fren away den he/she is definitely not worth you being sad over the loss . i wouldn't cry over the loss of lousy asses yea ! however,, sometimes you may 've really overlook some kind souls in your life . he may had been by ur side when u r all alone, stood by to support u showered u with love . you may have left them behind and went ahead with the new phase of ur life . i'm truly sorry if i've done such terrible things to the nice souls . given a chance i wouldn't choose to leave such wonderful pple ard as i know they truly care and i know how it feels to carry with you the feeling of guilt all ur life . such souls had re appeared& love to all the wonderful souls in my life (:

LOVES*

HALLOWEEN !

HALLOOOOO !

have been MIA from my dear bloggiee .
i'm so gna revive you my dear . LOLS .
thankyou to my dearries who come to visit .
sorry for always MIA-ing k . HAAS .
have been super busy and lazy ! ):
always hooked to my manga + anime when i'm free now . xx:
okays , anyway .
it was HALLOWEEN ! 31 OCT , FRI .
it was also NP's 45th birthday ! weets~
so we attended NP@45 party .
and i met my dearest honeybun . . .
EDMUND !!!


seriously its so damn cool okay !
don't be an ass to laugh at it .
i'll so definitely dress up the next halloween !
i love the super highness and enthuness ED has man .
HI BUN ! XD

[taken with wynnee&jiale !]

[wynnee&I]


[weifeng&I]


some pics were taken badly , blurred !
well , these are good enough . (:
all who attended shd be more high man den it'll be much more fun .
anw , went over to town to meet up with jialing & jojo and slacked till 2 plus before we cabbed home .
it was an enjoyable day afterall !
CHEERS frens ! ((:

LOVES*